19 October 2011

Bathroom Sprinting

It is the early hours of the morning and you wake up in a cold sweat. What has caused you to wake up.  Was it a bad dream? Was it the coffee you had at midnight? or maybe you remembered that you had forgotten to return your Justin Bieber biography (very small book) to the library.  In fact, the truth is none of these.  The giveaway is the severe stomach cramps. Immediately you know that you are in for a roller coaster ride over the next few hours.

I recently experienced the above, except the Justin Bieber book, and as you can imagine it was a pretty painful experience! (as reading the Bieber book would have been).

I knew straightaway, whilst sprinting quicker than Asafa Powell to the bathroom, that it was food poisoning.  As I was enjoying a newly found love affair with the toilet I put on my Sherlock Holmes hat to work out what had caused me to have been inflicted so badly. Was it:

  • The barbecue of the previous night.  I had eaten lamb and chicken, with coleslaw and a potato salad.  VERDICT: Surely if this had caused the food poisoning then I would have been struck down earlier.
  • Lunch was a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich which I ate on the run as I took my gals to the swimming pool. VERDICT: This would probably have been okay as It was toasted and generally not known for causing inflictions. 
  • Could it be that the swimming pool was the cause of my problems? After all, I do remember swallowing some of the water.  VERDICT: Possibly.  Who knows what goes into swimming pools. I won't elaborate on that!
  • Dinner time was a tuna and veggie stir fry in an Asian sauce.  VERDICT: Possibly.  Fish is renowned for causing food poisoning.  Or did the wife poison me deliberately?? I do remember her looking at my life insurance policies recently!!

All these thoughts were going through my head as I was spending a very extended stay in the bathroom.  I was amazed at how clear my thought processes were at analysing everything I had consumed over the past 24-48 hours. It was truly amazing!

Anyway, the good news for myself was that 3 days later I was fine and 3 kilos lighter in weight.  So for me there was a silver lining even though the lining of my stomach may not have had one!