27 March 2010

Cuts Like a Knife

"is when cutting cheese turns into an endurance sport....I have no idea of the cunning plan that this piece of sharp metal has for me"

During the last week something dawned on me. It was one of those moments when clarity is to the fore and you realise why things happen (not necessairly for a reason either). So I thought it only fair that I shared this with you, the reader, and the rest of the world. It appears that I have a fetish. Now before your sordid mind delves off into the realms of toe sucking, leather, bondage and gimps, let me explain. This is no ordinary fetish indeed.

Over the past 18 months or so I have, at intermittent periods, bought 3 knives. These are your typical knives that you would find in any household kitchen. They have all been utility ones so that No Worries and I can cut, chop and dice vegetables, meat and anything else we want to cut until our heart's content!

I always know when its time to replace a knife. The first indication is when cutting cheese turns into an endurance sport. One whereby you have to use all your force and energy just to cut a slice of cheddar! It's good for the muscles but not good for the empty stomach.

When things get to this stage I merrily traipse off to the local shops and purchase a new knife. At this stage I have no idea of the cunning plan that this piece of sharp metal has for me. Once home I take the knife out of its packet, wash it and give it a trial run. A smile expands across my face as I see the steel blade glide effortlessly through the cheese. I know then that all's well in the world.

Fast forward a couple of days and the fetish takes hold. What I have discovered is that every time I buy a new knife I end up cutting my thumb quite badly. Now this isn't when I am using it in food preparation either. It never hits me when I am using it for what it was designed to use.

For example, last week I was washing up after a scrumptious roast dinner (cooked by yours truly) when I reached into the sink and felt a sharp pain in my thumb. I quickly pulled it out and blood was starting to pour down it and onto the rest of my hand. The knife fetish had struck again. I imagined that had been waiting just below the surface camouflaged by the soap suds when it saw my innocent thumb. Then, quicker that the Global Financial Crisis, it struck inflicting a painful blow!

I could be wrong of course.

Contrast this to the previous issue about 8 months ago. Again, I had bought a knife but this time it waited until I had placed my hand into the cutlery drawer before it attacked me. Now again this may have been a coincidence but I am not convinced. The previous time I had been attacked on my thumb by merely picking it up from a cutting board.

So there you have it. Do I have a subconcious fetish for cutting my thumb with a new knife? Or are they really out to attack me? I'll let you decide.









20 March 2010

Musically Confused

"before I know it I am singing along (normally internally as I don't like scaring my fellow train passengers)...I even swapped the balck t shirt, jeans and beer for a shirt, pants and a bottle of chardonnay!"

Many years ago, when I was a mere strip of a lad, there was a song released called "Music" by John Miles. Some of the lyrics went like this "to live without my music would be impossible to do, 'cause in this world of troubles my music pulls me through". For the nerds out there in the blogosphere, the song was a number 3 hit in the UK during the tropical summer of 1976. It is an awesome song with a great guitar lick towards the end of it.

The lyrics really struck a chord (deliberate play on words) as it really sums up my view to music. When I am feeling down I'll get out a CD, or listen to my MP4, and play some of my favourite songs. Before I know it I am singing along (normally internally as I don't like scaring my fellow train passengers) and after a few songs I feel really great and all is well with the world!

I've always been passionate about music and when funds and time permit I will go to watch a band play live. Nowadays I am much more selective than when I was younger. Take for instance the last three concerts I went to and the concert I am going to watch next month. Talk about having a varied music taste!

The list starts off with Green Day. In my opinion American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown are two of the greatest albums released in the past decade. I went to see Green Day before Christmas with my good friend Jia. What can I say - fantastic, brilliant, passionate are just some of the descriptive words I could use to describe the gig. Who would have thought that there would be saxophones and harmonicas on offer at a Green Day gig. At one stage Billy Joe even played drums!!

Anyway, the very next day it was off to the Hunter Valley to the Wyndam Estate vineyards to watch Human Nature and the irrepressible Smokey Robinson. So from punk rock to soul and tamla motown all within 24 hours. I even swapped the black t shirt, jeans and beer for a shirt, pants and a bottle of chardonnay! Naturally a picnic was packed.

No Worries came with me and the afternoon and night was a glorious affair. The sun was shining and the music was top notch. Some of the audience left as Smokey had a penchant for talking in between songs which was boring for some. Still, despite this, the wine tasted great.

Fast forward to February this year and I had a chance to see the great AC/DC at Sydney Olympic Stadium (I refuse to call it by its sponsors name - its the punk in me!). There were 70,000 fans in the stadium all there to see, possibly, the last tour. Yeah they are old, yeah they looked haggard. But boy can they rock! Angus still has the skills and ability to send the audience into musical nirvana (another play on words albeit with a grungy connection). This concert re-confirmed my taste for heavy rock music.

Next up is a double header in a few weeks time. I am going to see Spandau Ballet and Tears For Fears. Growing up I was a fan of both these groups in between listening to rock music. As I have grown older I more easily appreciate their lyrics and musicianship. I really hope Tears For Fears do 'Woman In Chains' certainly an all time classic.

So there you have it. Punk Rock to Soul to Tamla Motown to Heavy Rock to New Romantics to Pop music. Am I musically confused? Yes, you bet I am, and proud of it!!